How to get to school if you’re an ALT
Step 1) Pace your room frantically between the hours of 6
and 9.30p.m. waiting for the e-mail with the details of your school for the
next day. In between pacing, and
possibly snacking, pause to check Facebook for a minute. Realise 2 hours have
gone by and re-check your e-mails. Has the e-mail arrived? Congratulations! Move
onto Step 2. Still no e-mail? Prepare more snacks. Prepare to harrass the
lovely receptionists at the company.
Step 2) Read the e-mail and a) sigh with relief/jump for joy
when you see you have only a few classes, a detailed lesson plan and directions to the
school have been provided for you or b) scrunch your face in depression and
bewilderment when you see you have to repeat the same class 5 times in one day
and the instructions you have been given simply state “please communicate the word to
the children and play the game with them”. Also the whereabouts of the school
is a mystery. If you have chosen b) please see Step2.1. If you have chosen a) please
move onto Step 3.
Step 2.1) Scan the school information again for any clue as
to the meaning of the “word” and the “game”.
If you find the number of the lesson hidden within the paper somewhere
you may move onto Step 3. If you see nothing and you’ve been staring at it so
long it begins to look like one of those 3D pictures chances are it’s not
there. (Also you have gone mad, seek professional help). Fetch some more
snacks, and juice; juice is good, and prepare to harrass the lovely
receptionists at the company. (Or if you’re feeling particularly daring: decide
you will work it out tomorrow, eat your snacks, watch a movie and go to sleep).
Step 3) Prepare a totes awesome class to wow the socks off
those Japanese kids. Smile smugly as you eat your snacks. (These ones are
strawberry mousse filled panda heads). Go to sleep.
Step 4) Awake at the craic of dawn bloodshot and bleary
eyed. Squint at your cereal stupidly, and attempt to multi task by eating and
drying your hair at the same time. Fail when you blow your cereal onto the
floor. Grab your belongings, and map to the school, and run out the door.
Squeeze onto a streetcar/bus/subway wedging yourself between chattering
students and serious looking salarymen. After a while you will either a) get
out at your correct stop and walk towards your school or b) hop off at an incorrect stop because you were only half
listening and you were busy thinking about cake. If you choose b) please see
Step 4.1.
Step 4.1) So you got off at the wrong stop? If so then your
name is probably Ciara Long and this is a regular occurence in your daily life.
For god sake keep your mind off snacks and nonsense and pay attention! Find a
street car heading in the right direction and try again.
Step 5) Follow the caution children signs and thank your
lucky stars that all Japanese Elementary schools are huge carbon copies of each
other and instantly recognisable as the giant cinder blocks with windows that they are. Plaster on your super happy face and approach
the front door. Well done! You have made it to school.
So glad I have one set school. XD
ReplyDeleteI'm kind of jealous. I imagine it makes it so much easier to get to know the kids, and get to school! Then again when you only see them once a month you're a massive novelty... Still think I prefer your way though.
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